im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
