dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
