when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
