we're chasing vodka with high fives
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
