Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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