bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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