I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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