I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You took a bar mat shot.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
