I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
