I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
