The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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