I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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