Umm I'm too high to move.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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