Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
