You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
