Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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