would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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