Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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