I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
