i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
