I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You need Xanax blowdarts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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