dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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