I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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