he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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