u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
