I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He did a backflip because drugs
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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