Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
