I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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