I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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