If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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