Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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