Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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