Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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