I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
