your thong is hanging out like whoa
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
