Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
