yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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