clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
