Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
