Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
