The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
