Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
