You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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