I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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