summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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