This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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