About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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