it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
