I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
