Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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