My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
