Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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