Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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