$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
